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The Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order", she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.

"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The pastor didn't know what to say. "That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.

The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork'.

It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming... like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance. So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder, 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them : "Keep your fork...the best is yet to come".

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman the last time he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing, her favorite Bible and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman about what it symbolized to her.

The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.

So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, oh so gently, that the best is yet to come

There lived a king. He had a minister. The king enquired of the minister if he knew any man of perfect renunciation (sanyasi) . The minister replied casually, " There is one in every street corner, your Majesty".

The king was anxious to meet one. He requested his deputy many times to introduce one such sanyasi to him. The minister still did not take take the request seriously. One day the king stood firm and gave an ultimatum "if you do not find me one such man within a week you will cease to be my minister."

The minister now realised the seriousness of situation. He searched everywhere for a true sanyasi but found none.

On the seventh day he was forced to devise a plan. He chose a young man to put an act of a sanyasi when the king and his retinue would approach him. For pretending to be a sanyasi for a while the minister promised to give the young man a bag of gold.

The man put on ochre robes and all other accessories of a sanyasi. He sat under a wayside tree. The next day, the king called for the minister to fulfill his desire. Thus, the king and his retinue were brought by the minister to the 'sanyasi' sitting in meditation by the roadside.

The king , the queen and the prince prostrated to show their respect and take the holy man's blessings. The minister has to also follow the king and prostrate before the sanyasi.The king offered the sanyasi trays of money, clothing, food and all. To each offering the sanyasi bade the king to take it away. He refused to accept anything.

The king was wonderstruck at his spirit of renunciation. Throughly satisfied, the king and his retinue took leave of him and returned to the palace.

The minister rushed back to the so called sanyasi with the bag of gold. He commended the young man for his outstanding performance. The sanyasi bade the minister to take the bag of gold away.

The minister was confused . " The play is over, my friend , you may accept what was promised to you", he appealed.

The sanyasi motioned the old man to sit down and spoke these words of wisdom, "Did you not see, hear the beauty of life just now ? Did you not learn a great lesson today?I feigned an act of renunciation for a while; for which the king, the queen, the prince and you fell at my feet. I put just an act of renunciation and so much wealth and reverence were showered on me. What would I achieve if I genuinly give up the desire for everything ? "

"Take your bag of gold old man I do not need it. "

*******

Banish all your attachments and anxieties. Drop the idea of "I am the doer" or ' I am the enjoyer'.

Gandhiji realised it..king Janaka realised this...

Kill your ego. The way to gain anything is to lose it. In physics the colour which an object reflects and does not absorb is the colour of that object. The red rose appears red because all the others colours are absorbed except the red. The red is given/reflected away and thus the rose appears red.

An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?"The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!"

The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me."

And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."

The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emperors past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?"

The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?"

The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake.

He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar."

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it --everything! --immediately disappeared, went out of existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What is the begging bowl made of?"

The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire."

This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Something is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again.

What happens? Your mind has dematerialized it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.

That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life. The other journey is inwards. move inwards, come back home.

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Communication Skills

The first aspect is one's power of expression. In a group discussion, a candidate has to talk effectively so that he is able to convince others. For convincing, one has to speak forcefully and at the same time create an impact by his knowledge of the subject. A candidate who is successful in holding the attention of the audience creates a positive impact.

It is necessary that you should be precise and clear. As a rule evaluators do not look for the wordage produced. Your knowledge on a given subject, your precision and clarity of thought are the things that are evaluated. Irrelevant talks lead you nowhere. You should speak as much as necessary, neither more nor less. Group discussions are not debating stages.

Ability to listen is also what evaluators judge. They look for your ability to react on what other participants say. Hence, it is necessary that you listen carefully to others and then react or proceed to add some more points. Your behavior in the group is also put to test to judge whether you are a loner or can work in a group.

You should be able to convey your thoughts satisfactorily and convincingly before a group of people. Confidence and level headedness in doing so is necessary. These add value to your presentation.

Knowledge and Ideas Regarding a Given Subject

Knowledge of the subject under discussion and clarity of ideas are important. Knowledge comes from consistent reading on various topics ranging from science and technology to politics. In-depth knowledge makes one confident and enthusiastic and this in turn, makes one sound convincing and confident.

Leadership and Coordinating Capabilities

The basic aim of a group discussion is to judge a candidate's leadership qualities. The examiner withdraws and becomes a silent spectator once the discussion starts. A candidate should display tactfulness, skill, understanding and knowledge on varied topics, enterprise, forcefulness and other leadership qualities to motivate and influence other candidates who may be almost equally competent.

Exchange of Thoughts

A group discussion is an exchange of thoughts and ideas among members of a group. These discussions are held for selecting personnel in organisations where there is a high level of competition. The number of participants in a group can vary between 8 and 15. Mostly a topic or a situation is given to group members who have to discuss it within 10 to 20 minutes.


The purpose is to get an idea about candidates in a short time and make assessments about their skills, which normally cannot be evaluated in an interview. These skills may be team membership, leadership skills, listening and articulation skills.


A note is made of your contributions to the discussion, comprehension of the main idea, the rapport you strike, patience, assertion, accommodation, amenability, etc. Body language and eye contact too are important points which are to be considered. .

Addressing the Group as a Whole

In a group discussion it is not necessary to address anyone by name. Even otherwise you may not know everyone's names. It better to address the group as a whole.Address the person farthest from you. If he can hear you everyone else too can. Needless to add, as for the interview, attend the group discussion in formal dress.

The language used should also be formal, not the language used in normal conversations. For instance, words and phrases like "yar", "chalta hai", "CP", "I dunno", etc. are out. This is not to say you should use a high sounding, pedantic language. Avoiding both, just use formal, plain and simple language. Hinglish, (mixture of Hindi and English) should be discarded.

Confidence and coolness while presenting your viewpoint are of help. See that you do not keep repeating a point. Do not use more words than necessary. Do not be superfluous. Try to be specific. Do not exaggerate.

Thorough Preparation

Start making preparations for interview and group discussions right away, without waiting till the eleventh hour, this is, if and when called for them. Then the time left may not be adequate. It is important to concentrate on subject knowledge and general awareness. Hence, the prime need for thorough preparation. Remember, the competition is very tough. Only 460 candidates make it to the final list from 2.75 lakh civil service aspirants each year.

It may so happen that you are called for interviews and group discussions from three or four organizations but are not selected by any. The reason obviously lies in your not being well-prepared.

Good First Impression

When you start a Group Discussion, you are responsible for putting it into the right perspective or framework. So initiate one only if you have indepth knowledge about the topic at hand.
There are different techniques to initiate a Group Discussion and make a good first impression by

1). Quotes
2). Definition
3). Question
4). Shock statement
5). Facts, figures and statistics
6). Short story
7). General statement

Summarisation Techniques

Most Group Discussions do not really have conclusions. A conclusion is where the whole group decides in favour or against the topic. But every Group Discussion is summarised. You can summarise what the group has discussed in the Group Discussion in a nutshell.

Keep the following points in mind while summarizing a discussion:

  • Avoid raising new points.

  • Avoid stating only your viewpoint
  • .
    Avoid dwelling only on one aspectof the Group Discussion.

  • Keep it brief and concise.

  • It must incorporate all the important points that came out during the Group Discussion.

  • If the examiner asks you to summarise a Group Discussion, it means the Group Discussion has come to an end. Do not add anything once the Group Discussion has been summarised.